Overheard in Kohl’s: An employee confronts a customer who is sitting on a bench preparing to try on five—yes, five!—pairs of sneakers. . .

E: Are you trying all those on?

C: Um, is there a limit?

E: Well, if people don’t put them back, then I have to.

(C put them back. . . somewhere.)

Not that it makes me want to be at the mercy of a shoe salesman!


Seriously, Dollar General?! (Oh, wait… it’s just a joke.)

I kid you not, dear reader(s). This was in the toy aisle last night. Thank goodness it’s only recommended for children four and older: 

Just take it all in… and only $2!


That face… just mocking the entire under-four crowd.


Choking Hazard Warning: Helps prep the kiddies for the future Surgeon General Warning.


Then again, I enjoyed fake smoking as a kid but have yet to try my first real cigarette.


Uh-oh. This is all giving me a terrible craving for a waxy, delicious chocolate cigarette from 30+-years-ago Niagara Falls, Ontario.