Household glossary: Words I say wrong on porpoise (because I’m a dork?)

coral, for cool (See below. Thanks, Pearl!) 

expansive
, for expensive

porpoise, (obviously) for purpose

pry, for probably (long story)

Snetsnix, for Netflix  

soder, for soda

  

Not to be confused with how Rick pronounces “Carl” on The Walking Dead!

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Super Helpful Advice 19: Buy some boring white towels and move on.

Another Kohl’s shopper once tried to encourage a fluffier choice, explaining that the towels I was considering were more for hotels. Um. . . got the idea from hotels!

 

You must wait for a 30% off coupon and Kohl’s Cash offer, though. Oh, and buy some bleach!