Household glossary: Words I say wrong on porpoise (because I’m a dork?)

coral, for cool (See below. Thanks, Pearl!) 

expansive
, for expensive

porpoise, (obviously) for purpose

pry, for probably (long story)

Snetsnix, for Netflix  

soder, for soda

  

Not to be confused with how Rick pronounces “Carl” on The Walking Dead!

Super Helpful Advice 19: Buy some boring white towels and move on.

Another Kohl’s shopper once tried to encourage a fluffier choice, explaining that the towels I was considering were more for hotels. Um. . . got the idea from hotels!

 

You must wait for a 30% off coupon and Kohl’s Cash offer, though. Oh, and buy some bleach!