you tighten the laces on one shoe, making the other shoe feel too loose? Then when you tighten those laces . . . oh, this could go on forever!
My faithful pandemic buddies!
Don’t you hate it when…, Issue 27 (Hooray for 27!)
Don’t you hate it when…, Issue 26
you hear “please and thank you” before you’ve even decided to honor a request? Please refrain from doing this. (You will? OK.) Thank you.
Classifieds: Conesus Lake Area
Lost: Champion brand “BAMA” white ringer tee with red trim/graphics. Features large elephant. $1000 reward for safe return.
Artist’s rendering. Logo may be slightly faded, and fabric may have algae-related discoloration.
Sketch with 30+ year age progression.
Lost: Vintage multicolored striped beach towel. $100 reward.
Artist’s rendering of towel. May now have zebra mussels attached.
Sketch with 30+ year age progression.
Grandpa knows best, Lesson #13: Money can’t buy some things.
As Grandpa always says when he sees someone overspending, “More money than brains.”
Don’t you hate it when…, Issue 25
“Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom/Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom” is your first morning thought, and you can’t start your day until you place the obscure song?
Household glossary 3: “It’s a thing”
it’s a thing a phrase indicating that something exists or is done (origin: Amish-influenced social studies class)
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Example: Powdered peanut butter? It’s a thing.
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See? It exists.
Open letter to all birds except (male) cardinals
Dear all other birds,
No offense, but you suck.
Love, me
FYI, the bird on the left does not suck.
Goodbye, thimble
I mainly chose it because my siblings got first pick, but I liked how it fit my pinky. Oh, and it brought me many Monopoly losses!
This captures it so nicely. Thanks, AP!
The news story
The Onion says it best
Time travel to-do list #1: Visit National Bakery in St. Catharines, Ontario (That’s in Canada, folks)
The butter tarts were fine, but I’d go back and load a tractor trailer with those buttery cookies the ladies would give us kids.
Meh
Mmm… I suppose I could ask for the recipe if the tractor trailer didn’t fit into my time machine…
Don’t you hate it when…, Issue 24
you’re frantically searching for your smartphone and remember that you’re currently talking on it? Maybe it’s because you don’t use it all that much for talking anymore.
Hi, buddy.
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