In honor of Leap Day, I’ll paraphrase and ask what you plan to do with your one wild and precious extra day. I’m going to work. Yay! 😉
someone laughs when you announce that you want to become a body builder, so you decide it’s probably a silly idea?
It would only take me a few more weeks to reach this, though . . .
Potential problems with this upper body include: I’d hate giving up t-shirts, my arms don’t even contain all those muscles, I’m leery of performance-enhancing substances.
In case you didn’t quite get that, I binge watched the entire first season of Fuller House within 24 hours of its release!!!
I must have liked it if I couldn’t stop watching. . . right?
Did Joey, Danny and Uncle Jesse ever go out for tequila shots?
Translation: You’re not getting whatever it is you’re asking for, so you might as well stop asking. Said this to my own kids just the other day.
Here’s something to look at but not buy!
Literally. Start applauding, and you’ll notice that you have a dominant hand. Switching it up feels strange, doesn’t it? Google it if you don’t believe me.
I actually clap left over right. You?
The job title sounds perfect, but I’m not so sure about the description…
I don’t want to act like I know everything; I just want to get paid to Google stuff for 8 hours a day.
“Lit” means cool, FYI. And no one says “FYI” (or “cool”, for that matter) anymore.
Saying lit is so lit!
That was so 12 years ago!
Order a Venti Iced Americano (decaf?) at Starbucks
Add Sugar in the Raw (and cream?)
Add ice/(cream?)/(sugar?) as needed
*Lasts for hours!
Circumstances have made it so I watched these two recent Robert De Niro movies this past week. It’s not saying much, but Dirty Grandpa was waaaaay better.
Awkward at every turn . . .
A somehow less awkward blend of awkward and filthy . . .
15. Choose a new profession and enjoy many days off. Just a few possibilities:
1. Encyclopedia salesperson
2. Soda jerk
3. Telephone operator
4. Phone book proofreader
5. Book store clerk