Long story, but it involved making someone beautiful French toast and then failing to notice the mold in the maple syrup until after it was poured. Darn.
“OK, we’ll go for a walk just as soon as I finish making this French toast.”
It was really beautiful and velvety.
Yes, it did end up in the trash.
Only 77,000 miles in 11 years–always losing out to minivans.
Despite your bum driver’s side speaker and door, you were a good, basic model.
I can’t even speak your trade-in value.
Almost as shiny as the day we bought you.
I had this broken fob fixed up real nice with some zip ties.
Forget “Is the sky blue?” and “Is the Pope Catholic?” If someone asks something really obvious, use this lesser-known idiom in response.
Some kid used my phone to take this picture as I drove home at sunset one evening.
you wake up and experience that moment of realization that it’s Saturday?! 
unless you can handle my response, which won’t necessarily be “You’re welcome” but could be one of these:
“Sure.”
“Yep.”
“No problem.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
(Smile)
(Nod)
The basics
Phones I left at home today: 1
Times I wondered stuff and couldn’t look it up: 28
Extra brain cells used today: 9,437,219,563
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